I am so SO TIRED

Of all the excuses, of all the bullshit, Of everyone seeming to have too much on their plate to sustain a relationship. Trust me, I have heard that line way to many times, and TRUST ME, I was waiting for those words to come from your lips. Now I don't want you to think that I wanted to hear them, or I was hoping you would say them, but my gut instinct knew, as well as my mind, I (my heart) just didn't want to hear it (as I always don't want to hear it)
I am sorry if I am not desirable to you... (physically, financially, mobily... vehiclely, lol) whatever the case may be, but that doesn't make me impossible to date, or it SHOULDN'T...
LOL, I always thought I needed a southern gentleman since none of these LA boys see me fitting into their world, and I am to good for them anyway, but DAYUM, WTF is wrong, is it me?? Is it the rest of the gays??? LOL, you ask why my nickname is ForbdnBehr, uhm, I feel like this behr (bear) is forbdn (forbidden) to experience my last relationship. Last relationship meaning I have found the one to spend the rest of my life with. I always try to see the good side of everything (the optimist in me needs to be shot, lol) and tell myself it is all a learning experience, but how many times does this lesson need to be learned?? Or is the actual lesson is for me to listen to my gut instinct from the beginning? Is that is the case then I am going to be very disappointed, lol, cause 90% of the gay population (at least in the dating sense) is not worthy of me.
I know I am an awesome guy, I am smart, funny, mildly handsome, lol, huge hearted, loving, loyal, respectful, patient, I mean if I am being honest, I am not the most stable, but who is nowadays?? Is me having a car going to make me more desirable... and if so, do I even want to put in time to get to know someone who cast me to the side, because I have no wheels. (Now if you happen to read this and you know who you are, I don't think and I really hope that this was the sole reason of your "going into a dark place") Of course if I were to have a better job, or more money, that would make me more desirable.... but once again, do I want to put the effort into someone who sees that as a must have... I mean be happy I am even employed, lol.
OK... OK.... FUCK MAN.... It just really sucks that ONCE AGAIN, this has happened, lol, as I said above, I am just so tired of it, good thing is... I am not crying over it, as I am not expecting him to be either, I mean come'on, he broke up with me, as most people nowadays seem to do... over text message. MAN THE FUCK UP, TELL ME THE TRUTH, AND TELL ME ON THE PHONE OR TO MY FACE!!!

and.... END SCENE!!
5 minute Pity Party is now OVER!!

On a lighter note, I have made my mix for August, which I am kinda pouring over into September, lol. So it is my late August, early September Mix :-)
Check the next post for the link :)

NAMASTE BITCHES!!